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Before the Funeral

Funerals can be trying occasions for the family and friends of the deceased, and whether you are a close family member or not, you might be wondering about etiquette before a funeral. For instance, wondering what to say to offer comfort to others, or if there are ways you can help. To help you understand what happens before a funeral, read our guide below.

How long after someone dies is the funeral?

Immediately after someone passes away, planning a funeral will usually seem like a daunting task that can cause distress. The thought of saying your final goodbyes to the deceased might be enough to stop you from making any arrangements.

Usually, a funeral is held between one and two weeks after a person dies. This can depend on whether there is an inquest after the death, and how long this takes, and also date availability with the funeral directors and preferred venue. Religious beliefs can also dictate when the funeral is.

Choosing the funeral date

It is possible to arrange the funeral for almost any date preferred, however it is worth knowing that they can often be more expensive on a Saturday or Sunday. This is because venues will often charge a higher fee. Most commonly, funerals take place between around 11am and 2pm, with an early-afternoon wake where a light lunch or buffet is served.

Pre-funeral services

Some people may choose to host a wake or reception before the funeral instead of after. This can sometimes be combined with a viewing, or other times there might be a viewing held before the main service, at the church or crematorium.

In the Catholic faith, a Vigil service might be held on the night before the funeral. This is a prayer service usually held either at the family home of the deceased, at the church, or at the funeral home. A priest will usually host the service, or if they are not available, a religious family member.

What to say to someone before a funeral

This question is on the minds of many people when they attend a funeral, or indeed when one of their nearest and dearest is attending a funeral. The truth is; there is no one correct thing to say. Most of the time, the family and friends of the deceased will simply appreciate the fact that you have reached out to them. Knowledge that you are thinking of them during this difficult time can provide comfort in itself. If you are struggling to find a way to put your thoughts into words, and you want to send a message but are unable to think of what to say to someone before a funeral, consider something simple;

  • “I will be thinking of you today.”
  • “Sending love and prayers to you and your family.”
  • “I hope things run smoothly today.”
  • “Thinking of you. Please call me if I can help in any way at all.”

Or, if you are attending a funeral and are at a loss to know what to say to the next of kin and close family of the deceased, sometimes actions speak louder than words. Offer a hand to hold, or a shoulder to cry on, and a firm hug when you greet and leave the funeral. Words to say to someone at a funeral could be;

  • “It was a beautiful service and a perfect goodbye.”
  • “Thank you for letting me be a part of today. Your (relation) was a great friend to me and loved by many.”
  • “Can I help you in any way at all today?”
  • “Please do reach out to me if you’d like to talk.”

Make sure you thank them for arranging the funeral, and for all their efforts in hosting at such a difficult time.

Compassionate and Professional

Your calls will be taken in person locally not by a call centre, with complete confidentiality, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Funeral arrangements can be made at our premises, at your home or via email.

Simple Service Cremation £1995.00

To a local crematorium or cemetery, the day and time is at our discretion, a coffin of our choice included. Third party costs are not included and need to be added to the above cost. Local crematoria cost can be found on this website by clicking the pricing tab.

Unattended Cremation £950.00

When no service and no attendance is required. Day, time and crematorium at our discretion. Provision of our choice of coffin, suitable for the purpose of cremation, third party cost included.

Has Someone Passed Away?

We understand at this difficult time you need someone to guide you through it all. We’re on hand to help after someone you love dies.

Arranging a Funeral

We’ll talk you through the process and what’s involved, so that you can make the right decision both for you and your loved ones.

Pre-Paid Funeral Agreement

Funeral plans

As a company we are not a funeral Plan provider.

We are though in most circumstances able to carry out instructions from a funeral plan purchased from a third party. Please contact us, to discuss your needs.

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A Few Kind Words...

“As a family we cannot thank you enough for all your care and support of us on the passing of our mum – Peggy Hart on October 19th and her funeral on October 31st. As we know from the past, you do a wonderful job and all the staff are so caring and compassionate. Carol you are a rock (dare I say Star!) as you guided us through so much and helped keep us on track.

The day went off so smoothly and well. Mum looked good and would have so enjoyed her last ride in the jag! Also she would have been pleased at Alan leading the way, as Dad – Bill thought so highly of him and always spoke of him in glowing terms when he was alive and said he was a great guy to work with.

Thank you, thank you, what more can I say. I just wish you had offices in Canada so when my time comes, I know I would be in such excellent caring hands.”

Maggie & Mike Raftery

“Would you please pass on our thanks to the young lady who conducted the burial of Joyce Ashby last week. She was so kind to Jean my very elderly cousin especially on the ride back in the Limo taking us through Richmond Park and chatting all the way. We then went on to have a family picnic in Jean’s garden in the sunshine a lovely way to remember Joyce and the perfect day for Jean. Very many thanks from all of us in North Wales.”

Sheila, Keith & Rhoada Ashby

Dear Mr Alan Greenwood, I cannot thank you and your team in Bookham enough, for the excellent service they provided in every respect in the Cremation of my wife.

Your resident Funeral Consultant Mary fully explained all we needed to understand and advised the options available to us.

Her in depth knowledge of all the service providers including, Order of Service, authors and print selection, Celebrant, Hall and refreshments.

So many things which without her I would have been lost.

In the past few days I have received so very many complements and praise for the service you gave.

Do please allow other potential clients to share our experience.

Yours sincerely

Terry Eves-Thorpe

Sheila Eves-Thorpe

“We would like to thank you very much for looking after Mum and for all the arrangements you made for her funeral last Thursday. Your professionalism, help and ready advice together with your sensitivity at such a difficult time was much appreciated by us all. Our best regards.”

Nigel, Colin Ian & Coraine Ferguson

“Lynn, Bruce and I thank you so much for the wonderful understanding and help you have given us over the past days.It has been a difficult time but made so much easier by your guidance. With your kindness, we feel we managed to say our goodbyes to ‘Roger’, ‘Dad’ and ‘Grandy’ – showing our love and thanks to him for looking after us so perfectly over the years.”

Pat Clark

“I would like to say a huge thank you to both Carina at Alan Greenwood and Sons in Frimley and the Celebrant. When my mother-in-law passed, we had absolutely no idea what we were doing other than needing to contact a funeral directors. After calling, Carina invited us into the Frimley branch for an informal chat and made us feel at ease straight away. She talked us through every step whilst being compassionate, caring and professional during the whole process. It was a difficult time that was made so much easier by the way Carina and Maria handled everything. When the Celebrant contacted us we were unsure of what we wanted for the service, with his knowledge and understanding he helped us to put together a service that was both relaxed, professional and perfectly suited to us. Thank you to the whole team!”

Sarah

Dear Chloe,

We just wanted to all thank you and the rest of Alan Greenwood team for providing excellent service for organising and conducting our mother’s funeral – The day went perfectly.

Mike

“Dear David and Hannah,
Just a quick note to say thank you so much for all your help and support over the last month or so.
The funeral was just as it should have been.
Your staff were lovely and the day went without a hitch.”

Michele & Caroline

To Lisa and all at Greenwood’s
Thank you for all the care and professionalism you have shown whilst caring for my Dad.
Thanks also for being so wonderful whilst looking after Diane and me, we are so grateful,
you took the pressure away from us during a very stressful time.

Sally and Diane

“Thank you for all your kind attention during the funeral of my husband John on the 24th May. The arrangements were so efficiently and sympathetically handled that it lifted a huge burden from my shoulders. I enclose a cheque in favour of the Alzheimer’s Society in memory of my beloved John.”

Catherine Waterman

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